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01 Interstellar private acquisitions

The universe is mostly empty. Fix that by owning some of it.

Rare celestial inventory for discerning individuals with more liquidity than astronomical restraint.

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01 / 08
Kevin, G2V-ish star01RA 12H / DEC +19°
SL-0001Ordinary Star / Exceptional Name

Kevin

Dependable. Warm. Has never once asked what you do for work.

Classification
G2V-ish
Commuting distance
61 light-years
Naming rights
Emotionally binding
Acquisition price$44,000,000
Screaming Greg, A0V / Loud star02RA 15H / DEC +26°
SL-0002Audibly Radiant Asset

Screaming Greg

A statement star for collectors who find silence suspicious.

Classification
A0V / Loud
Commuting distance
404 light-years
Naming rights
Emotionally binding
Acquisition price$7,777,777,777
Aunt Linda’s Backup Sun, G-Type Spare star03RA 18H / DEC +33°
SL-0003Emergency Solar Reserve

Aunt Linda’s Backup Sun

Barely used. Kept in a constellation drawer for emergencies.

Classification
G-Type Spare
Commuting distance
88 light-years
Naming rights
Emotionally binding
Acquisition price$84,000,000,000
Orbital Keith, Blue Giant star04RA 21H / DEC +40°
SL-0004Executive-Class Plasma

Orbital Keith

Owns the room, the orbit, and several smaller celestial bodies.

Classification
Blue Giant
Commuting distance
1,209 light-years
Naming rights
Emotionally binding
Acquisition price$999,999,999,999
The Damp Twinkle, Uncomfortably Cool star05RA 24H / DEC +47°
SL-0005Moisture Status Undisclosed

The Damp Twinkle

Nobody knows why it is damp. The inspection report is beautiful.

Classification
Uncomfortably Cool
Commuting distance
33 light-years
Naming rights
Emotionally binding
Acquisition price$12,345,678
HR-Approved Star 6B, Neutral White star06RA 27H / DEC +54°
SL-0006Workplace-Compliant Luminary

HR-Approved Star 6B

Completed all required training and shines within policy.

Classification
Neutral White
Commuting distance
Mandatory
Naming rights
Emotionally binding
Acquisition price$6,000,000,000
Gary II, Red Dwarf star07RA 30H / DEC +61°
SL-0007Second of His Name

Gary II

The original Gary was unavailable. This one has references.

Classification
Red Dwarf
Commuting distance
69 light-years
Naming rights
Emotionally binding
Acquisition price$420,000,069
Unnecessarily Bright Susan, Supergiant star08RA 33H / DEC +68°
SL-0008Premium Neighborhood Nuisance

Unnecessarily Bright Susan

Subtlety sold separately. Curtains strongly recommended.

Classification
Supergiant
Commuting distance
Visible from everywhere
Naming rights
Emotionally binding
Acquisition price$2,500,000,000,000
A dim violet spiral galaxy in deep spaceM-404WHOLE THING

Portfolio expansion / Final clearance

LIMITED SAVINGS EVENT

The Slightly
Used Galaxy

Billions of stars. Mysterious dark matter. One tasteful spiral arm that photographs beautifully. Previous civilizations removed.

$900,000,000,000,000$899,999,999,999,999YOU SAVE $1